Adult children bring their mothers enormous pride and joy when they become engaged to be married. The shopping for the mother of the bride and groom outfits commences once the rush of the wonderful news subsides. Mother of the bride and groom outfits should be comfortable, well fitted and age appropriate, and can be coordinated with the color, theme and style of the bridal party. Mothers matching their dresses has been a pattern for several years. Attending other weddings, reading marriage magazines and visiting wedding outfit shops can start the journey. Having an idea in mind as to style preference when commencing the search may also be a good idea.

My son recently was asked to attend as best man in the wedding of one of his friends. The mother of the groom was perturbed through most of the planning stages for the wedding because not all her ideas were put to use. The bride's mother tried to engage the groom's mother in the process of shopping for their outfits, however the groom's mother had no interest.. The bride's mother selected her outfit choosing as her mother of the bride outfit an elegant, stylish and flattering gown. She looked wonderful and was a compliment to the entire wedding. The groom's mother chose as her mother of the groom outfit the same dress style as the bridesmaids, but in a slightly different color. Unfortunately, the gown was not age appropriate or flattering to the groom's mother and she spent one of the most wonderful days she would ever have feeling remorseful and absurd.

Several thoughts. When shopping for a mother of the bride or groom outfit, make sure to ask the bride if she has anything in particular in mind and if possible, invite her along for fittings and to help select what she may want you to wear. The bride can have input if she and you want it, but do not hesitate to speak up if the gown she prefers is unflattering or cost is an issue.

Specialty dress shops have designated mother of the bride and groom departments. Keep in mind you don't have to choose your gown from a specialty dress shop. Department stores sell formal dresses for special times of the year and specified occasions. Guaranteed, those outfits will be lower priced than a dress in a specialty shop.

If, however, the bride has picked out something distinctive in a particular store, you may want to seriously consider her choice. If cost is an issue, remind her of that fact and look for something comparable. If she is still adamant, then compromise becomes the solution. This is the bride and groom's special moment and it requires cooperation and support from the mothers of the bride and groom. Once you feel the love and happiness on your child's wedding day, every hassle will be forgotten and you'll be the happiest mothers of the bride and groom ever.

This wedding made me understand that the day belongs to the bride and groom, not me. I will support them. I will offer opinions if it's requested, hold my counsel if it's not. I will even allow them input on the mother of the bride and groom outfits so as to not mortify them as their friend was embarrassed. Realizing that this is the bride and groom's day and not mine may be the most important lesson to come out of my children wedding day.